


2D Helps His Family Love Themselves (The Trilogy)

by wearehappylandfill



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Genderfluid Character, Nobody in gorillaz is cis, Nonbinary Character, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Phase Four (Gorillaz), Phase Three (Gorillaz), Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, technically an AU though, they're family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 12:37:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15194939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearehappylandfill/pseuds/wearehappylandfill
Summary: Local trans man Stuart Pot helps his family/band be more comfortable with who they are and love themselves.





	2D Helps His Family Love Themselves (The Trilogy)

**Author's Note:**

> if you dont like it ignore it lmao it isnt hurting anyone

A cigarette dangled carelessly from Murdoc’s mouth as he stood on the balcony, gazing out at the ocean. Nighttime was always the prettiest, the way the sea reflected the moon and stars, the way his smoke drifted through the cool air, everything about it was so oddly serene. It really took his mind off of all of the things he was dealing with.  
Mainly, of course, that Murdoc was growing even more unsure about the whole “he” thing.  
It didn’t feel right, how he was then. His body, mind, everything about himself felt so undeniably wrong.  
No, not himself. But pronouns were just a small problem out of the mix.  
How had Stuart described it before? Like he was supposed to be something, just trapped in the wrong form. Then, it dawned on Murdoc to go ask Stu about it. Maybe Stu would understand what was wrong. Stu knew more than he was ever given credit for.  
Shaky, Murdoc stubbed out his cigarette and took a swig of rum, some liquid courage to keep him from backing out before he reached the younger’s door. He drank until the familiar buzz could be felt and sauntered to the lift, trying to build up the trademark confidence that one might immediately think when they thought of Murdoc Niccals. Something that they could easily believe was purely natural, but something Murdoc grew to know as being almost entirely faked.  
The knock delivered to Stu-Pot’s door was maybe a little more abrupt and harsh than intended, drawing a little yelp from him. 

“Just a moment!” He called out, voice breaking. He paused the zombie film he was watching and fumbled with the light before unlocking his bedroom door. He began to ask what Murdoc wanted, but at the sight of such genuine vulnerability that was painted on the bassist’s face he cut himself off. “What’s wrong, Muds?”  
Murdoc let out a heavy sigh. “A lot, actually.”  
Stuart stepped to the side slightly to allow his bandmate inside. Murdoc walked inside and slumped down on the edge of Stu’s bed. Stuart sat beside him, tilting his head slightly and preparing to listen.  
“Wanna talk about it?” He asked hesitantly, though it really felt like a dumb question. Of course Murdoc wanted to talk about it.  
“I…. It’s hard to put to words, y’know?” Murdoc said, clearing his throat. After a brief pause, he mumbled, “how did it feel when you were first discovering you were trans?”  
The topic startled Stuart slightly. It wasn’t exactly something that he and Murdoc talked about often. Though, Murdoc really was providing when it came to supplying him hormones and making sure he was okay.  
“Well… damn, it’s been a while since those first feelings started coming ‘round.” He pondered the question for a moment, bouncing his leg. “Well, really, I just… I didn’t like a lot about who I was as a person, yeah? I didn’t like the way my name sounded then, it didn’t fit me. Didn’t like long hair, didn’t like the promise that I’d be more feminine with time, though my mum surely thought it’d reassure me, settle the anxiety.” He tapped his foot a few more times. “Then I stopped feeling comfortable with the pronouns everyone was calling me, the more I heard my deadname the more upset I got. And after a while, I realized it was because I wasn’t a girl at all. Though, I’m not sure how it is for anybody else.”  
Murdoc thought for a moment about what Stuart said. The more he thought, the more he recognized that he felt similarly. Uncomfortable in his skin.  
“I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be like this,” Murdoc muttered. “A- A man. I don’t know if I’m just…. having a midlife crisis or something. I’m worried that’s all it is.”  
The blue haired man beside him blinked, pondering that. “Well, a good rule of thumb is that if you genuinely are worried you’re faking, it’s most likely you aren’t faking.”  
Murdoc nodded, wincing slightly. “Yeah. It’s…. scary.”  
“Oh, I understand that,” Stuart reassured him, “that’s sort of normal. I’d recommend taking baby steps, okay? And more importantly, it’s better to be fully out to yourself before you start coming out to everyone around you. That’s just my advice.”  
Murdoc tried to calm down, comforted by the fact that 2D had plenty of knowledge that was really needed right then. Though, tears were threatening to spill from Murdoc’s eyes, purely formed out of anxiety and frustration due to a feeling of knowing nothing at all.  
Stu blinked gently at him and gently pat Murdoc’s shoulder. “People might say bad things about you, I know how it feels. But I’m here to support you and you can always come to me if you need to, okay?”  
“Alright,” Murdoc sniffled.  
“Would it help if I used she and her for you?” The singer asked in a soft voice.  
“That would be nice,” Murdoc admitted. “That would be really nice.”  
“Alright, then,” Stuart said, giving Murdoc a hesitant grin. “You don’t got to worry much. If anyone tries to say anythin’ bad I’ll get on ‘em, alright?”  
Murdoc let out a weak, raspy laugh. “Sounds good to me.”  
“Alright, then,” Stuart murmured. “I’ll see you later, Muds.”

With that, Murdoc went back upstairs. He- no, she, felt a lot more confident as she returned to the balcony for another quick smoke. Maybe things would be okay after all. Maybe this was step one to loving herself.  
And, thank satan, she had someone on her side. 


End file.
